(ed. this is not satire, it’s an official newsflash from [tagesschau.de](http://tagesschau.de))
Breaking news Top story
# German economy grows slightly in 2025
As of: 15.01.2026 10:02
After two consecutive years of recession, the German economy grew again for the first time in 2025. Gross domestic product rose by 0.2 percent compared to the previous year, according to the Federal Statistical Office. Economists predict that Europe’s largest economy will grow by around one percent in the current year, boosted by a higher number of working days and rising government investment in armament and infrastructure.
Germany got hit the hardest by the energy price explosion from 2022 on (and before the snarky comments start: yes, partly their own fault). With these effects going away they’re finally back on a growth path after two negative years.
If you regularly track the sector statistics everything’s on an upwards path, so 2026 should be a relatively good year, especially because the €500 billion loan that the government took on only started to get into effect in October 2025.
Aside from an invasion of Greenland (which would fuck up US-EU trade), it’s looking positive for Germany – yes, even if they don’t grow as fast as others. That’s good for all of Europe.
Collapse_is_underway on
You mean, the richest managed to improve their assets/financial situation while the vast majority of the population yet again lost money since their salaries weren’t upgraded with inflation and the massive cost of living increase ?
Oh yes, I think I heard that bullshit title in Switzerland and other countries in Europe.
DO keep on believing the richest that still keep on pretending that, somehow, we’ll manage to always have “always more”, because we’re smart. Do keep on believing these lies while you slowly become a neo-peasant that’s protected by his neo-lord.
Markus_zockt on
To be completely honest: given current world events and the massive upheavals Germany has had to endure over the last three years (not to mention the coronavirus pandemic just before that), I’ll take even the smallest amount of growth. And even if it is “only” 0.2%, it is still growth. And with an economy as large as Germany’s, we mustn’t forget how many billions of euros 0.2% represents.
FishingSuitable2475 on
slight growth is just a rounding error while the 20% youth brain drain kills our tech potential. germany is effectively paying a digital tax to the us because we regulate industries we haven’t even built yet. it is a slow-motion squeeze on the middle class.
Massimo25ore on
“The news about my death was a wee bit exaggerated”
krazydude22 on
0.2% growth with a forecast of 1% for 2026 sounds decent, but I for some reason do not see 2026 as smooth sailing for European economies in general, owing to external risks….
Frenzystor on
EILMELDUNG!!!
OmenDamien on
A lot of polacks would have a b_tthurt because of this. And as a Pole, I like it.
atchijov on
Maybe this IS what we should be aiming for? “grow slightly”. Fast growth is unstable and always happens at some one else expense. Slow sustainable growth is what humanity needs.
yourfavouriteguyhere on
Ah cheering about this pathetic growth while US and China are way ahead. That’s what happens when far left takes control of the govt and economy.
spiringTankmonger on
The CDU cannot handle the economy; this is the first German government in a decade with fiscal freedom, and they still delivered only marginally more than stagnation.
Growth is good, but this little growth for that much debt is unsustainable. This was not inevitable; the CDU (and to a slightly lesser extent the SPD) spent the money to bribe their electorate.
Just a reminder: the last government fell over a 60-100 billion fiscal shortfall for which they were hounded by the CDU. Now, the CDU cannot even successfully manage the economy with 500+ billion of new fiscal space.
And yes, the CDU is to blame; they hold the ministry for the economy, the ministry for transportation, and the chancellorship.
13 commenti
(ed. this is not satire, it’s an official newsflash from [tagesschau.de](http://tagesschau.de))
Breaking news Top story
# German economy grows slightly in 2025
As of: 15.01.2026 10:02
After two consecutive years of recession, the German economy grew again for the first time in 2025. Gross domestic product rose by 0.2 percent compared to the previous year, according to the Federal Statistical Office. Economists predict that Europe’s largest economy will grow by around one percent in the current year, boosted by a higher number of working days and rising government investment in armament and infrastructure.
Further information will follow shortly.
Translated with [DeepL.com](http://DeepL.com) (free version)
Nice. Take the day off Germans; have a beer.
Germany got hit the hardest by the energy price explosion from 2022 on (and before the snarky comments start: yes, partly their own fault). With these effects going away they’re finally back on a growth path after two negative years.
If you regularly track the sector statistics everything’s on an upwards path, so 2026 should be a relatively good year, especially because the €500 billion loan that the government took on only started to get into effect in October 2025.
Aside from an invasion of Greenland (which would fuck up US-EU trade), it’s looking positive for Germany – yes, even if they don’t grow as fast as others. That’s good for all of Europe.
You mean, the richest managed to improve their assets/financial situation while the vast majority of the population yet again lost money since their salaries weren’t upgraded with inflation and the massive cost of living increase ?
Oh yes, I think I heard that bullshit title in Switzerland and other countries in Europe.
DO keep on believing the richest that still keep on pretending that, somehow, we’ll manage to always have “always more”, because we’re smart. Do keep on believing these lies while you slowly become a neo-peasant that’s protected by his neo-lord.
To be completely honest: given current world events and the massive upheavals Germany has had to endure over the last three years (not to mention the coronavirus pandemic just before that), I’ll take even the smallest amount of growth. And even if it is “only” 0.2%, it is still growth. And with an economy as large as Germany’s, we mustn’t forget how many billions of euros 0.2% represents.
slight growth is just a rounding error while the 20% youth brain drain kills our tech potential. germany is effectively paying a digital tax to the us because we regulate industries we haven’t even built yet. it is a slow-motion squeeze on the middle class.
“The news about my death was a wee bit exaggerated”
0.2% growth with a forecast of 1% for 2026 sounds decent, but I for some reason do not see 2026 as smooth sailing for European economies in general, owing to external risks….
EILMELDUNG!!!
A lot of polacks would have a b_tthurt because of this. And as a Pole, I like it.
Maybe this IS what we should be aiming for? “grow slightly”. Fast growth is unstable and always happens at some one else expense. Slow sustainable growth is what humanity needs.
Ah cheering about this pathetic growth while US and China are way ahead. That’s what happens when far left takes control of the govt and economy.
The CDU cannot handle the economy; this is the first German government in a decade with fiscal freedom, and they still delivered only marginally more than stagnation.
Growth is good, but this little growth for that much debt is unsustainable. This was not inevitable; the CDU (and to a slightly lesser extent the SPD) spent the money to bribe their electorate.
Just a reminder: the last government fell over a 60-100 billion fiscal shortfall for which they were hounded by the CDU. Now, the CDU cannot even successfully manage the economy with 500+ billion of new fiscal space.
And yes, the CDU is to blame; they hold the ministry for the economy, the ministry for transportation, and the chancellorship.