Ciao/Cześć/saluti a tutti. Studio e vivo qui ormai da un paio d’anni. Mi piace la città, ma ho notato che faccio davvero fatica a costruire amicizie profonde e strette con la gente del posto al di fuori delle mie lezioni universitarie.
A casa, le amicizie sono super casuali. Potrei chiamare un amico e lui attraverserebbe la città solo per farmi compagnia mentre vado a comprare il pane. Noto che non è proprio questa l’atmosfera qui, quindi sto cercando di capire come le persone qui costruiscono effettivamente legami forti.
Penso che alcune cose mi rendano le cose complicate: sono piuttosto introverso, non bevo e non vado in discoteca, il che esclude molti dei soliti modi in cui le persone si incontrano. Inoltre, sono il tipo di persona che apprezza davvero le conversazioni profonde e complesse rispetto alle chiacchiere standard. Ho notato un po’ di ostacoli linguistici in questo caso: le persone qui parlano un inglese fantastico, ma naturalmente diventa difficile per chiunque immergersi in cose davvero profonde, sfumate o filosofiche in una seconda lingua. Rende molto più difficile superare quel livello di superficie.
Dato che ho una ragazza, cerco di evitare le “app” e di incontrare persone in modo organico. (Non penso nemmeno che le app funzionino) Quindi, come fanno le persone sui vent’anni in genere a legare e costruire connessioni reali qui se non sono nella scena dei bar o non hanno un hobby condiviso? Quale pezzo del puzzle mi manca? Oppure è solo una questione mia?
Contesto: 23M, non slavo. Inoltre, accettando domande per gli amici. I DM sono aperti!
(Aggiunta una foto casuale della città che ho scattato per placare chi tra noi cerca attenzione visiva.)
https://i.redd.it/mtjpj936gyug1.png
di Mother-Poem-2682
13 commenti
Sooo, not sure what to suggest in terms of people but starting with the city name could be helpful… 😉😅
„call a buddy and they’d cross the city just to keep me company while I go buy bread.” This sounds ridiculous to anyone beyond high-school age. An unrealistic expectation in any culture imo, especially if people are working and have their own plans/lives.
If language is a barrier, try expat groups. There is plenty of meet-ups of those on facebook
Would you be keen on joining clubs and societies they are available for all different fields like sports, games, comedy, languages etc and trust me like half of the people who join s club first time are introverts who then open up gradually and make pretty solid friendships. Also i barely have 2 polish friends rest everyone i talk to speaks English its mostly other nationalities. So if you are looking forward for polish friends that’s not possible with just English.
For what’s it worth, issues keeping relationships alive and such are global, whether you’re an immigrant or a local i think. Sure it’s harder to start from ‘scratch’ as an immigrant, but yeah.
When you find out how people meet organically let me know lol.
Sadly, friendships are a rare commodity in this country. Most people hang out with family or work/school friends. You could try spending time in culture centers that spark your interest; book clubs, discussion clubs, ttrpg gaming spaces, music concerts, etc. Signing up for volunteer work if you have time is a good way to meet people as well.
Move to 3city, we are friendly af. As for everyone we build friendships from young age and most of us keep the same friends are friends from work etc, school is the main place or playing football
So deep conversation or buddy bread walks?
Not sure if it’s a country issue or the age we live in where people would prefer to scroll TikTok instead of making new connections.
Poles have autistic level social skills, and the only way to really befriend them in in a bar setting tbh.
No Polish person will admit to this but the best way to bond with one is to find something to bitch/moan about together, then take it from there.
90% of my friends are people ive met in school teenage years back in the day,the other 10% are people who ive got to know after turning 20 and its literally 2 dudes in like 6 years while one being my best friends cousin so…
its rare to meet and gain a new buddy every month,the reality is you are lucky to befriend someone new once in 5 yrs….ofc if you want a real friend because on the other hand its easy to have fake company around here.
And im saying this as a native.
>>I’m pretty introverted, and I don’t drink or go clubbing, which cuts out a lot of the usual ways people meet.
Citation needed. Clubbing is a very niche hobby. Drinking is not, but people usually drink with people who are already their friends
Dude it’s the same everywhere not just in Poland lol
And about the deep level friendships.. I mean most people want this. The problem is that nobody wants to start it (including you)? Maybe? I don’t know. Maybe you should look to yourself first.
In my case, I’m introverted but I go out of my way to socialise , go to events, I try not turn down offers from people to go somewhere or do something.
All you need to do is keep trying until you find someone willing to make the same effort as you.