Consigli per i genitori: “Dovrei lasciare che il mio adolescente beva minorenne?”
https://www.newstalk.com/news/parenting-advice-should-i-let-my-teenager-drink-while-underage-2180029
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Consigli per i genitori: “Dovrei lasciare che il mio adolescente beva minorenne?”
https://www.newstalk.com/news/parenting-advice-should-i-let-my-teenager-drink-while-underage-2180029
di interfaceconfig
36 commenti
Oh yeah, right – like the choice is the parent’s!
Impossible to say whether this is a good idea or not without knowing the teens involved, but I’d be monitoring the beahviour or my teenagers while hinting at the idea that one is ok but if I see them drunk there will be hell to pay.
The prevailing evidence says that delaying alcohol consumption for minors until 18 is the best course of action.
People never seem happy to hear that but if you look at recent studies that’s what they all seem to say.
Should I let my 5 year old snort crank?
I never did, they still drank without my approval, being normal teenagers, but were aware I disapproved strongly. Offering them alcohol to be a cool parent knowing that it’s the biggest addiction issue in this country is downright irresponsible in my view, nor is it going to encourage them to “drink sensibly”. Alcohol is also a toxic substance, would you encourage your kids to ingest other toxins?
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Obviously no parent is going to encourage their teenage son/daughter to drink. But if they’re going to drink before they’re 18, the parent is not going to be able to do much to stop them.
By allowing the inevitable to happen, the parent has the opportunity to observe and monitor their alcohol comsumption better than if they knew nothing. Better communication on the topic can take place.
At the end of the day, teenagers will do what they want. Growing up, my mum knew that the surest way to make me try something was to forbid it. I was never offered alcohol underage by my parents and I will never offer any minor alcohol. It even sounds crazy typing that 😂
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i started drinking when i was like 15 or 16. I remember i hid it a good bit from my parents but my parents were always upfront and understanding about drinking.
it’s not that parents should let you drink underage but they jeed to understand it can and may happen and that they need to talk to their kids about it early.
for example, my mom and dad didn’t want me drinking but always said “if you do drink, don’t drink spirits. stick to beer. and don’t mix alcohol” it was a small distinction and i still got shitfaced underage on spirits but it was advice that generally stuck with me.
so no, dont let them drink underage but understand that they will do it anyway and educate them as much as possible.
Depends on age and if they are doing it at home with you
When I was 16 my friends parents used to let us drink in their house. His dad was a truck driver and used to bring back crates of Heineken export. We’d sit in drinking cans and playing computer games. To be honest it kept us out of trouble and our parents didn’t seem to mind too much either. There’s an upside to giving trust to teenagers, I’d rather know what they were doing than them hiding it from me.
My sister always allowed it under strict parental supervision when they got to about 16.. but they’d never be allowed to get pissed. OFC they did one or twice but only when a bit older anyway.
I know of plenty kids who had fierce strict parents who never touched or were allowed to tich a drop before 18 and lost the run on themselves in college.
Taking the mystery out of it when they are 16 by offering drink at home is no harm. Totally normal in France for teenagers to have a glass of wine with the family. It’s not binging, which happens when kids drink in secret.
I grew up with being allowed to have a small glass of something when my parents drank which was rare enough anyway. My siblings and I all have a good relationship with alcohol and could take or leave it.
I did the same with my oldest. They know I don’t mind at home to have a bit but it is better at home. There is no draw for them I hope and they can have a healthy relationship like I do. I drink once in a blue moon as i don’t care too much for it.
We can only do our best here.
A few Breezers in the lunchbox never did me andy har.
I let my sixteen year old have a couple of drinks at parties. They are probably going to do it anyway and just so you know it’s not illegal either. Totally legal to let your child have a drink at home or in a friend’s house with your permission.
Better to know what they are up to and you can look after them as well.
Anyone quoting studies are probably not parents of teenagers:)
Personally when my dad put the fear of god in me with a beating if I was caught still didn’t stop me but the fear made me more sensible. But as a parent now I wouldn’t be providing the tools or facilitating it but I would want it to be clear that no matter what shit situation they get themselves in that they can always call me and I will (try) not lose the head but later encourage a conversation why it went shit and learn from it.
But the one thing I still think about is would I do it for other kids? If they were in a particularly dangerous situation and my daughter called for help on behalf of their friend? Still trying to figure that one out but I still have another 13 years to think about it 😂.
I was allowed to have the odd bottle at family events when I was 15.
Then mam started letting my friends and I drink in the house around the time i was 16/17. Her attitude was I would rather ye drink here than in some field.
Between not knowing how to pace yourself, getting alcohol poisoning in a field, and starting fights, I’m glad I was able to have a few cans with my aul lad and he did sneak me in for a few pints. He taught me about pacing myself and that he knew I would be out with the lads necking cans eventually anyway. He was right. But, unlike a lot of the lads who were mixing vodka, Druids, and Heineken to show off, I was sipping away on a can and being the most sober (though obviously drunk). Taught me a lot about respecting it for it was. 100% believe that if you have a pint with your family before 18, you can 100% learn to respect it more.
I didn’t drink a lot in my teenage years and not a ton in my early 20s. I only starting drinking more often after moving abroad and not having access to weed because where I live, it’s just downright expensive and not worth it being caught, jailed, and deported. That said, I reevaluated my relationship with alcohol last year and have cut down substantially since hitting my 30s and realizing it might be great craic, but the 2 day hangover is making me not present when I should be.
My parents didn’t let us drink. I think that made it a lot more interesting. The idea of getting caught helped make it more dangerous and risky and therefore, more fun. At least for me anyway. Had friends whose parents didn’t mind if they drank and they barely drank at all. Probably because no thrill in it for them. That’s how I saw it anyway.
I allowed my son to drink alcohol since he was 16 & a half. It was either at home or in a neighbours garden. I can count on the one hand the amount of times he’s asked. He was drunk once (the night of junior cert results). And he’s waaaaayyyy more responsible than I was at his age lol!
16+ I would allow with moderation. But I do not drink alcohol, and probably they would not drink at home. My parents never controlled it over me, but I never liked it.
I think it depends on the parents relationship with drinking. Do I think an alcoholic couple with a malnourished son should be let drink in the house? No. Should a couple who drink sociably and have a glass of wine with Sunday dinner let their kids drink sensibly? Absolutely.
Depends on the example being set by the parents. My mum and dad were brilliant, they understood that at 16, 17, I’d be having a few beers with my friends at the weekend. Drinking was never something I could do to “rebel” against anything, my dad always gave me a small glass of beer from the age of about 11 if I was inquisitive. The only rule they had was no spirits; only beer on nights out. Something I stook with until I went to Uni and moved out.
I think when it comes to the relationship with alcohol, we have to look at what Ireland does wrong that it’s abused here compared to countries like Germany or France where kids have a glass of beer or wine legally with dinner.
It is good training instead of getting plastered out somewhere.
Personally, I as a kid was never mad into the underage drinking scene, and didn’t drink till I was 18, even though all my friends were and I was with them for all of it.
My younger brother was like all my friends. Just shows that there’s very little parents can do and it’s really up to the child as an individual.
I’d rather any future kids of mine drank underage supervised and with a controlled supply, rather than knocking back naggins and needing their stomach pumped.
16 onwards was how my folks did it with me, I think that’s fairly reasonable
I don’t think 16 year olds should be drinking on a routine basis but I might be turn the blind eye now and then. You keep kids on too tight a rein then they start doing dumb shit instead like huffing solvents.
I dont think it’s a case of let. They will underage drink, they just won’t ring their parents if shit hit the fan. If they’re too drunk or in trouble will they risk further trouble by admitting where they are and how much they drank.
Yes. Take the Mediterranean approach to drink and teenagers. You’ll end up with mature responsible adults.
I personally began drinking about 16-17, at friends’ house parties where they would have a sound older sibling who’d buy the drink for me. After a few times of doing it without my parent’s knowledge, I casually confessed to my mam one day about it and it honestly went over smoothly. She definitely didn’t encourage it at all, but I think because I was already drinking, she realised she’d prefer knowing what I was drinking and when, instead of me doing it behind her back.
I don’t feel like drinking a bit earlier than legally allowed to have had a negative effect on my life, sure I may have drank too much and did embarrassing things, but that was contained in the safety of a friends house, not a club or bar. Now as an adult I’ve quickly learned what my limit is and what effects drinks have on me, so I’m not getting sick over myself because I decided to mix three different drinks in one evening from naivety.
I do think it’s a case-by-child basis, it’s more up to their personality, behaviour and habits that gives you an idea if a child would be capable of responsibly drinking later in life if they start early. The relationship between kid and parent is paramount too.
I think anyone who thinks they shouldn’t let their child drink at all, is overreacting
Out of the people I know who’s parents where very strict on no drinking until 18, a good chunk of them had no sense of building up tolerance and by the end of their first year of college they where off drink and on to drugs
It won’t stop them drinking with their friends behind your back. A teenagers job is to pull against their parents and break the rules. All you’re doing is showing them that drinking underage and breaking the law is ok. Its a stupid idea. Also, there are no studies that show introducing your underage kids to alcohol in a “controlled” environment does any good.
I was running with a rougher crowd when I was younger and started drinking when I was 14. That was just downing cans and naggins before teenage discos but wasn’t the healthiest start by any means. When I was around 16 my parents would let me a have a few be it at home or at the pub with dad. It I was at the sports clubhouse as well the bar woman there knew my dad let me have a few and would serve me 4 pints or so a night without question knowing I was underage. I have never had a problem with drink through college or in my adult life. I don’t enjoy getting completely shitfaced and have only done it a handful of times. Just like to tip away at that “fairly tipsy” feeling when I drink. Or have a few quiet Guinnesses that I don’t really feel in my head.
Shane McGowan.
My husband and I don’t drink at all and most of our friends and family are the same so we have discouraged our kids from drinking and it’s never been part of our lifestyle anyway.
One did do some underage drinking as a teen with friends we found out, there was no fuss. He doesn’t drink now at all.
My opinion is not to let underage kids drink as it’s not a good example for parents to encourage something illegal. There’s time enough for doing the grown up stuff later.