Se quest’uomo dovesse presentarsi al Consiglio europeo, la reputazione della nostra padronanza dell’inglese andrebbe perduta

Sacha Baron Cohen or Armando Iannuci, if you’re reading this…

Here’s the plot for your next movie:

“The President”

Amidst an once-in-a-generation geopolitical crisis and a war in Europe, the former prime minister of a fictional Southern European country called Portobello ascends to higher echelons of the European Union and becomes the president of Council of the European Union because no one competent wanted the job.

He does not speak English, French, or German and yet he is responsible for helping coordinate the European political response to the invasion of a Baltic member state by the neighbouring fascist dictatorship Bearland. The other European leaders only realise this linguistic limitation because the invasion started during the Easter holidays and his press officer left him alone in Brussels for the mid-season break break.

The film follows the wartime day-to-day of the president as he tries survive and save up enough money to pay back his mortgage in Southern Portobello.