Ciao
Sono uno studente e vivo in Germania. Ho 20 anni e sono rimasta incinta. Sono una studentessa internazionale quindi non posso permettermi di avere il bambino. Il padre mi ha mollato quando gli ho detto che ero incinta. Poiché sono trascorse più di 12 settimane, devo sottopormi a un aborto chirurgico.
Dopo 12 settimane, in Germania non è legale abortire. Avrei dovuto saperlo, lo so quando mi sono mancate le mestruazioni, ma pensavo di avere un ciclo irregolare perché ho preso una pillola della pillola Plan B, quindi pensavo di avere semplicemente un ciclo irregolare. Lo so, avrei dovuto saperlo.
Al consultorio mi hanno detto che ci sono altri paesi in Europa che praticano l’aborto ma che dovrei pagare 1140€ visto che sono avanti. Il massimo che posso fare è 22 settimane dopo non credo che potrò abortire da nessuna parte. E in questo momento, essendo studentessa, non ho 1140 euro, il che significa anche che non posso davvero permettermi di avere un bambino. sarò deportato. E la mia famiglia non mi accetterà perché ha pagato molti sacrifici affinché fossi qui. Questa è vita o morte per me e non sarei stato qui se non fosse stato così necessario.
Per favore, per favore, per favore, se c’è qualcuno che può aiutarmi. Per favore supportami in ogni modo possibile. So che molti di voi potrebbero dire che sono le vostre azioni a risolvere questo problema, il che è vero e mi pento profondamente di quello che ho fatto, ma avere il bambino vero non è un’opzione per me. Per favore, non farmi vergognare per le mie azioni, ma anche se lo fai, lo capisco.
Questo è il mio fondo per finanziarmi che ho appena creato
di Agile-King4294
21 commenti
Contact this organization immediately: [https://www.asn.org.uk/](https://www.asn.org.uk/) . They might be able to help you.
Sorry to hear about this, and that the father is such a jerk. You could still get a mini job (but probably don’t disclose this info in the application) or short term loan for the abortion? 🙁 I never heard about anyone getting deported for being pregnant as a student though.
Ok, the last legal, free option you have is the so-called Babyklappe. If everything else fails, this is your way out.
You can give birth anonym and leave the newborn there. It will be safe and taken care of and you can live your life.
This is neither a recommendation nor an endorsement, it’s me telling you this exists as an option.
Hello!
I think one of the closest places you can go to get the abortion is Netherlands. It should be allowed there until 24 weeks but I think the sooner you go the better it is. You should be able to get there with train or bus.
[https://www.government.nl/topics/abortion/question-and-answer/what-is-the-time-limit-for-having-an-abortion](https://www.government.nl/topics/abortion/question-and-answer/what-is-the-time-limit-for-having-an-abortion)
I am not sure how much it costs. If you are part of the EU healthcare, the price might be same as for anyone living in the Netherlands. I am just not sure if that covers abortion – maybe someone else can answer.
ProFamilia can help you
I can’t help you but wish you all the best. It might be helpful to edit your post and include how far along you currently are, so others can direct you to the right places.
Additionally to all the others id talk with your ex to at least cover half the costs. Hearing that he will be on the hook for child support / or will have to take care of the baby for the next 18 years can be a motivator.
If he doesnt budge you can just give away the baby after birth at a babyklappe.
Im Not sure about how it works in Germany… But can’t you Order that the father takes some responsibility on this? Even if it’s with Splitting up that fee?
Just to make sure: the law is 12 weeks after conception, which is different from the way your Gyn counts (they start counting as of the first day of your last period). That may give you two more weeks – what’s the actual gestational age?
However elective abortion needs to be paid out of pocket in Germany too, unless you are financially not in a position.
Open a N26 account and get a loan there. Yo can do it with the free debit card option.
You can still abort in the Netherland until about 20 weeks, but you need to pay for it.
There is also the possibility of an anonymus birth. You can give birth in a hospital in a safe environment under a pseudonym and give the baby up for adoption right there. Then you have the option of staying completely anonymus for you child or to put your name in an envelope which the child gets when it is 18.
https://www.bmbfsfj.bund.de/bmbfsfj/themen/familie/schwangerschaft-und-kinderwunsch/vertrauliche-geburt
You can continue to study while pregnant.
I’m terribly sorry that you are in such a messy situation. I understand that you don’t want to have the baby, I just want to assure you that while the father can indeed dump you, he WILL have to pay child support (and you will also recieve money from the state for you child (in case the father is German/European at least, in which case your child will also be able to apply for German Staatsbürgerschaft)). I’m telling you this, because this might help with convincing the father to at least pay for half the cost of an abortion (it’s either that or child support for at least 18 years).
I don’t know if this is a possibility for you, but as has been mentioned, there are various possibilites to give the child up for adoption, either by contacting one of the may social services that help with this, or, this has also been mentioned before, at one of the so called Babyklappen, where you can “drop off” the child after having given birth. If you decide to carry the baby full time and to give it up for adoption, I would suggest the first possibility here, because they will also take care of all medical necessities you might need or want to take advantage of during this time (and, just in case that wasn’t clear, this will be absolutely free for you).
Have you been to ProFamilia? They will be kind and take your side. They will know what to do in such circumstances and have info on funding options for low income women. They may even be able to tell you about crossing the border and funding options.
All the best to you.
Telling the father he can either pay for an abortion once, or for child support for 20 years might get you some financial help. I wish I had been given that option.
contact Pro Familia meanwhile also call Schwangere in Not Hilfetelefon 0800 40 40 020 (24hrs)
If you’re an international student, you would have a Blocked Account with money saved into that you can dip into.
Since this is a very important situation, the *Ausländerbehörde* might release some funds early for you. You need their approval, so contact them ASAP. Go to their office and explain the situation. Good luck OP.
If the father is of german nationality, it will a lot easier. He has to pay for the child and, if he earns enough, even for you for the first three years. You will also have more resident rights and you get financial help, because the child is a german. If he does not earn, you can get a little stipend from Germany.
You could also get some money for baby things from the Bundesstiftung für Mutter und Kind. And you are entitled for other money like Elterngeld. Even when none of you is german.
A lot of universities also have counsel, information, family housing and daycare for parents. There is help to continue studying.
Caritas and other places also give information, use that.
Are you sure it is too late for an abortion? Abortion is legal for 12 weeks after conception, which would be 13+6 weeks pregnancy. Some christian “counseling services” give you wrong information.
Can you borrow money, lend, go into debt, work two weekends at event gastronomy, sell something?
There is also the option for foster care, adoption and so one.
im not german, but swedish living in germany, and you can try reaching out to the swedish organisation ”läkare i världen” (”medical doctors in the world”) they are doctors working voluntary to give everyone their medical needs and inform about rights. they provide lawyers and MDs informing about your rights and help you to doctors that will treat you for free. i don’t know if there is a german organization like this, but they will know if there is. you can call them on 010-129 98 09 and they speak a lot of different languages. the call should be free if you have a german phone number
edit: and you can have an abortion, no questions asked, in sweden until week 18, or until week 22 but with questions asked.
Do you mean you are 12 weeks since your last period or 12 weeks since conception? If the former, then you are still within the legal limit in Germany! You should also still be able to take the abortion pill, which is far simpler than surgical abortion. Call your health insurance, reach out to your fraunartz, or even just google “where to get an abortion in xx city.”
If you do indeed need to leave Germany, contact Abortion Without Borders – it’s an organisation set up to help women in this exact situation. They can guide you through accessing an abortion in the Netherlands.
Get a quick loan like this: https://www.cashper.de/ratenkredit?cid=161&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_term=schnellkredit&utm_content=738832238104&utm_campaign=TopST_STAG&adgroupid=176568912416&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=22321468771&gclid=CjwKCAjw7vzOBhBxEiwAc7WNr6zng4m8SWzKhrY7QTum4-sdj75-zooQOAav_zqwGbL6Lfc3XcFZaBoC4mkQAvD_BwE
This is the first that came up after I googled I don’t if it’s good but it seemed like there are a bunch of quick small personal loan options.
Good Iuck I am rooting for you
In the Netherlands you can get an abortion up to 24 weeks. Unfortunately, you have to pay yourself since you are not a resident and don’t have Dutch healthcare insurance. The costs could be up to €900 depending on the procedure. But contact the clinic and also ask for payment plants. Contact your Krankenkasse, maybe they cover (a part of) the procesure.
The only requirement is a talk with a doctor whether you understand what the procedure entails and whether you are doing it voluntarily. They recently scrapped the 5 days consideration limit, so you should be able to do everything in maximum 2 days.
Please check here (the Dutch governments official websites).
https://www.government.nl/topics/abortion
https://www.government.nl/topics/abortion/question-and-answer/what-is-the-time-limit-for-having-an-abortion
https://www.government.nl/topics/abortion/question-and-answer/i-am-thinking-about-getting-an-abortion-what-should-i-do
Here is a list of abortion clinics. You can directly contact them and don‘t need a referral from your GP or any other medical Professional.
https://www.ngva.net/klinieken
The clinics in Roermond, Groningen and Arnhem are closest to the German border, depending on where you are in Germany.