Peter Mandelson è stato sorpreso a urinare per strada dopo il rilascio dei nuovi file Epstein

Not an Onion article, incredibly enough.

>However, further documents published on Tuesday evening revealed Mandelson had been in contact with Epstein as late as 2016.

>The following night, Mandelson was pictured at former Tory chancellor George Osborne’s £10 million townhouse in Notting Hill in London, where he arrived with a £34.95 bottle of wine.

Because of course he was: seeing as he’s such a stalwart social democrat, and in no way a Tory bent on turning the Labour Party into a corporate shell of its former self.

>The Daily Mail reports Mandelson, 72, spent three hours at the property and was then spotted relieving himself on a garden wall shortly before 11pm, while waiting for an Uber.

>Mandelson reportedly left Osborne’s house clutching his phone, walked a short distance to the street corner before undoing his zip and urinating against a brick wall.

>One onlooker told the paper Mandelson looked “worse for wear” and claimed he had managed to urinate on his upmarket trainers.

Can’t make this up.

There is a lot going on in this article.

1) The details which include the price of the bottle of wine (£34.95, apparently)

2) The amusing quote by Reed about diplomacy

3) The complete mismatch between the short timescale of the eyewitness account and Mandelson’s claims about two Uber drivers standing him up. At that point of disagreeing with the eyewitness, why not just say the entire story is fake?

I do like the implication that they’re related. What next “New Epstein files released, Trump caught shitting in bush”

This article is a mess of timelines, scandals, characters and meandering factoids about each.

In summary, on Wednesday night an unnamed onlooker claims that Mandelson pissed on a wall after visiting George Osborne and drinking some wine. He also got some piss on his trainers.

Oh Newsthump you silly little (sees it’s not newsthump)

Fucking hell’s bells